Winning Deal

I’m committed to establishing a sense of balance in my life. I looked at my mobile phone and noticed there were a lot of business apps.

My friends play with Fruits, Candy and Zombies in their downtime, so I figured Solitaire couldn’t hurt. I added it to my phone and started it up.

This was the first thing I saw:

Choose wisely. Photo credit Me.

Choose wisely. Photo credit Me.

How interesting. I get to choose what kind of deal I get. Of course, I chose “Winning Deal” and went all in.

I have never played with such abandon. I tried out new things, made interesting patterns with my cards, and when I missed a chance to finish out a pile, I didn’t care because I knew it didn’t matter to the outcome.

What if you played your life like that?

You have already been given a winning deal. You are the source of your success.

So what if you played all out, had fun making mistakes, and knew– in your heart of hearts– that it didn’t matter to the outcome?

You can always win, if you start from the right frame of mind. Photo credit Me.

You can always win, if you start from the right frame of mind. Photo credit Me.

It doesn’t.

It never has.

What happens is that we believe in other kinds of “deals”, like the ones above. And what you believe will show up in your life. I’m going for the winning deal, and I’m going to play full out.

Play your life all out because it doesn’t matter to the outcome. In fact, it makes the outcome better.

What would you do if you knew you had a winning deal?

Be A Spider (4 Wise Moves for Entrepreneurs)

This blog post sponsored in part by the yummy food, great service and free Wifi at Gilbert’s on 17th Street Grill

Even though I’m a writer and creative consultant, I’m a scientist at heart. Most of my work comes from the revelations I have while studying nature and physics.

By David Maiolo (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

By David Maiolo [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

On a walk the other day, I saw a huge banana spider suspended between a tree and a building. There was evidence in its web that it had already eaten a few creatures, and it was busy rebuilding the holes that were left.

On another tree close by sat an iguana.

Well, I thought, the iguana will have a healthy dinner.

But then I looked at the spider in the web again and realized I was wrong. There were four things that the spider had going for it that every risk-averse entrepreneur could learn.

1. Make your way by your strength.

Most spiders eat what they catch in their web. Others build traps and eat what gets caught there. Here’s the key: What they build sustains them. The most successful entrepreneurs aren’t selling someone else’s products. Build on the things that sustain you.

2. Know what is your bread and butter.

Spiders eat insects. So they build their webs where insects are: flying between trees, or in dusty corners of your house. Spiders test their success by what they catch—so even if a spider mistakenly builds a web across your doorway, once you walk through it, you’ll never see that spider web there again. If you’re not catching anything where you are, move.

3. Take a calculated risk.

Contrary to Spiderman’s web-slinging in the comics, spiders don’t shoot silk out to build webs across a space. They fling themselves out there, spinning silk behind themselves during flight. Even baby spiders build tiny little parachutes in a process called ballooning (aww) after they hatch and fling themselves into the wind to find new homes. They do that so that they can test the viability of the places they attach their web to. You can’t judge your market or your products with theory. You’ve got to get out there. One of the first things I tell my clients to do is look at what’s already working— but to use that to push themselves deeper into their market. I talk about that on my TEDxTalk here.

4. Stay on the Web.

The spider’s best strength is on the web. Its food gets caught there. It has a great vantage point on its environment. And the spider’s legs are so sensitive to it that any movement on the web alerts the spider immediately. That iguana would have to leap off of the tree in order to catch the spider… unless the spider comes off the web. Once you’ve found the work you are good at, get better at it. Use the gifts and strengths you’ve been given to protect yourself.

And here’s a bonus tip!

5. Have faith in the world around you.

Spiders that are ballooning were at first thought to plan their trajectory. After many years of research, scientists concluded that they don’t really have a plan. They just know they need to move, and move farther than they can jump. When you understand who you are, and what your strengths are, don’t be afraid to jump into the world. Wherever you land, you’ll bring all of that with you.

Be a spider. Just don’t get caught in my hair.

6 Things Leaders Can Learn From The World Cup

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1. True fans will follow you everywhere.

I was watching the #ivorycoastvsjapan match and was amazed at how coordinated the fans were. They had a choreographed dance, shakers and costuming. This is an important game for the country. People knew that their “Elephants” needed their energy, so they came. The Ivory Coast did not disappoint.

Are you encouraging your fans to come along on the ride with you? Nothing great happens alone.

2. People love the story of an underdog.
Continue reading

Bullying — A New Perspective

I was asked to speak to a group of teen and tween girls about Bullying.

It’s a touchy subject, and it’s more and more pervasive– especially as snarky comments on reality TV get more popular. People “do it for the Vine” and don’t care about the aftermath of hurt feelings.

Sometimes, it’s just that someone isn’t doing what you need them to do, and instead of dealing with it, we bully them to get what we want.

Hurt people hurt others. I was challenged with how to help little girls understand that their hurt feelings don’t have to lead to hurting others even though how they feel affects their whole world.

Bullying stops with you.

Bullying stops with you.

I gave them some powerful tools, and a new perspective. The tools you can find here.

Please share the link with anyone who you think can use them.

How to Work a Crowd

In a previous post, I spoke about the number one leadership killer.

Although it’s crucial to be aware of that very common misstep that passionate visionaries make, it’s even more crucial to acknowledge a skill that is the backbone of leadership: crowd control.

We’re not talking “police officers on mounted patrol” type action. I’m talking about honoring a group of people who believe in your vision enough to give you their attention.

If you honor them, then you’ll treat their attention like the gift that it is and move them into a place they’ve never been before. That is “crowd control.” To do that, you have to build trust, and build it fast.

One way or another, a vision will attract attention and an audience. If you have a compelling vision, eventually you’ll stand in front of a group of people. It may be a group online, or it might be in person.

A good leader addresses these three types of people in the group in order to build the trust needed to move people where you need them to be:
1. People who have questions Continue reading

The Leadership Killer

I write on leadership because it’s my assertion that anyone can learn the skills to become a leader for a good cause. Not everyone is built for the task.

tombstone

Here lies leadership. Source: Columbia.edu

I design events and experiences for all kinds of audiences. I’ve spoken in front of and facilitated experiences for professionals, youth, government officials, private clients and the general public.

I have a sixth sense for group energy. I also have two certifications in adult and youth curriculum design and a degree in dramatic arts. So I can always sense the moment a speaker is losing the crowd, or leading them to a higher place.

Here is the thing killing your potential for leadership.

You’re not listening.

Really. I bet you think you’re listening.

You probably have a great cause. There’s something tremendously important that has to get done. You have a great vision and people have bought into it.

Now, some of those people are giving you feedback.

1) They have questions.

2) They disagree with you.

3) They may have been distracted and didn’t hear what you said.

All of that is feedback. If you push ahead and don’t address every one of those concerns, your leadership begins a slow death.

Or spirals down out of the sky like a kamikaze-driven plane.

People need to trust you. They need to know you’re paying attention to them. Even the dissenters. If you don’t address everyone, you’ll lose them ALL in some way or another.

How do you handle those three types of people giving you feedback?

I’ll discuss that in this post. For now, ask some questions. Tell me about the leaders you admire, and even the ones who you believe shouldn’t be leading. If you’re thinking of stepping into a new position, what’s your concern? Leave a comment, or share your insights.

 

Every Leader Must…

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…confront their weaknesses.

Avoid them at the cost of your ability to lead. It’s obvious what you suck at. We all see it. Try to hide it, and you lose our trust.

Leaders, embrace your failings. Your humanity is what enables us to trust your vision, and gives us a place in your plan.

After all,  what are you a leader of, if it’s not a community?