I was asked to speak to a group of teen and tween girls about Bullying.
It’s a touchy subject, and it’s more and more pervasive– especially as snarky comments on reality TV get more popular. People “do it for the Vine” and don’t care about the aftermath of hurt feelings.
Sometimes, it’s just that someone isn’t doing what you need them to do, and instead of dealing with it, we bully them to get what we want.
Hurt people hurt others. I was challenged with how to help little girls understand that their hurt feelings don’t have to lead to hurting others even though how they feel affects their whole world.
Bullying stops with you.
I gave them some powerful tools, and a new perspective. The tools you can find here.
Please share the link with anyone who you think can use them.
Recently, I’ve been sick. Being both an entrepreneur and a teacher, illness is no joke.
In my spiritual practice, it’s even more serious. Our bodies’ natural tendency is toward health and growth. You see that in nature. Grass, plants and trees have to be cut to maintain a certain look, and even then, they must be cut on a continual basis. If you’re sick, you’ve wandered away from a consciousness of God.
Your immunity is your body’s system of resilience. Immunity is “exemption from obligation, service, duty or liability; being insusceptible to disease or punishment.” It is your body’s way of maintaining integrity in the face of anything that is contrary to what you are supposed to be.
Now, you can take this one of two ways:
1) A compromised immunity can be a punishment from God: you’re sick because you forgot you were God’s child. If I feel I’m a smart person, then that could be embarrassing. People who believe this don’t show up for Sunday service when they’re sick, and they stay away from our Bible studies and prayer meetings.
or…
2) A compromised immunity is a warning from your heart: you’re sick because you’ve taken on obligations, duties and liabilities that weren’t yours to begin with. Your energy is being spent on the wrong things, and it’s time to make some choices. In that case, you reach out to your circle of friends, spiritual partners and spiritual teachers for support, and you look within for guidance. You practice extreme self-care and enter what I call a “no-guilt zone.”
I chose the latter.
My sickness reminded me so much of my natural state of being that I looked through everything in my life that I felt obligated to, uneasy about, punished by and liable for. Anything that wasn’t true to who I am called to be was up for debate. Anything that didn’t contribute to my bliss didn’t make the cut. Even while sick, I wrote my blogs, and I taught my classes. I mentored and planned events. I went to the beach and spent time with people I love.
We can’t fear sickness. Sickness is a tool for growth. A tree with damaged limbs must be pruned so it can bear fruit. (Like this quote? Click here to share it on Twitter.)
If you’re sick, don’t just recommit to your physical health. Use the time of self-care to look at the mental, emotional and relational obligations that compromise your integrity. Then, choose joy. Even if your physical healing isn’t immediate, your true healing will begin.
What about you? Do you muddle through sickness, or is it a time of self-reflection?
Those who remember Janet Jackson’s hard-core days, when she dressed in all black and was part of the Rhythm Nation, may recall her song, “The Pleasure Principle”.
She was on to something.
We serial entrepreneurs and world-changers find ourselves in a quandary. We may still want the hot, masculine man to take care of our most fun needs—but the world needs us too. So we also need a sensitive man who understands carbon footprints, the entrepreneur’s lifestyle AND our want to mentor that young girl who acts all hard-core but still loves stickers.
He’s out there, sistren. He’s just not going to show up the way we expect.
We leaders are the new species of woman. So, there’s a new species of man.
The old paradigm had men as our charismatic breadwinners, setting the vision for the household. Now the vision comes from us.
Who is the helpmate to the visionary, socially conscious woman?
A wonderfully sensitive, supportive and grounded man.
He is the Steadman to your Oprah.
Follow me a bit here.
I know you, visionary powerhouse, are looking for another dynamo so that you can be evenly yoked. He’s out there. And he wants to build a life with your awesomeness.
What kind of man is going to be patient with his own needs while you’re out knocking down barriers of injustice?
A spiritual partner. The “even yoke” is not material.
Being spiritually matched doesn’t mean your practical, daily needs aren’t met. In fact, they’re met easier. The right partner will challenge you to remain balanced.
Did you know Meryl Streep is married with children? Most people forget that, and that’s exactly what she wants. A beautifully fulfilling, relatively normal private life—and the right partner made that happen. Sparks may fly with other powerhouses, but who is going to tend your flames?
And really, let’s be frank: would Oprah and Steve Jobs have been compatible in a long-term relationship?
Women who lead are complemented by men who support. When we #banbossy, we can embrace love too. Help the women and girls in your circle do both.
Be Your Own Answer 